"I think if I get a few more I'll head-butt someone", he said, only slowly allowing a faint grin.
Vettel's performance means Ferrari will start from pole position at the Canadian Grand Prix for the first time in 17 years, and he sent a warning to his rivals.
"There will be times where it's probably going to be frustrating but at the end of the day I guess it's in his control".
While most of the field opted to run the softest option tire, the Hyper Soft compound, Mercedes ran Hamilton on the Super Soft and Valtteri Bottas (P6) on the Ultra Soft.
Sebastian Vettel set a course record in qualifying on Saturday to win pole position for the Canadian Grand Prix. Vettel's best lap time of one minute 10.776 seconds bested the record of 1:11.459 set previous year by Mercedes ace Lewis Hamilton. Overtaking is relatively straightforward, speeds are high and the cars are pushed to their limits; likewise, the concrete walls punish any mistakes heavily but the drivers need the confidence to use all of the track, especially in qualifying where even the smallest of margins count.
Vettel powered his Ferrari around the 4.361-kilometre Circuit Gilles Villeneuve in one minute 10.776 seconds. That left Red Bull with zero points on a day it could have gained ground on championship leader Lewis Hamilton, and earned the drivers a talking-to from their team.
A smoking start to qualifying as Romain Grosjean's Haas started off by spewing oil all over the place, resulting in a massive cloud all over the pit lane.
Crocodile mauls pastor to death during baptism ceremony at lake
Members of the congregation, as well as fishermen on the lake, attempted to rescue the clergyman - an nearly impossible task. Locals who tried to wrestle him from the crocodile were not able to do so, but succeeded in recovering his body.
"I think we looked quite competitive and it was a positive start to the weekend".
"We extracted the best we could out of qualifying". "Having such good momentum at the moment, I think a penalty would really take a lot of the wind out of our sails".
When asked if he felt Red Bull had the pace for pole after seeing teammate Daniel Ricciardo go quickest in Q2, he said: "I knew we had a good vehicle, but I wanted to wait and see how competitive we would be in Q3".
The McLarens were slowest out there, with Ricciardo setting a new track record of 1:11.434 as the clock ticked down to zero.
"It's such a fun track to drive and we didn't have any problems, I really enjoyed it", said Hamilton, who has won the last three straight races on the Montreal circuit.
The Dutch driver has endured a hard start to the season after being involved in incidents at every race so far in the 2018 season.